Actually, we are entering 11 days with Tressan. I meant to post after a week, but I’m finding that timing is a new challenge. Tressan is 100%, which means letting go of plans to do the laundry and water the plants, which means balancing phone calls and emails, which means eating breakfast at 11 and lunch at 3, which means sleep when you can. Luckily I have my mom here to help – and she certainly has (attempting cleaning projects and recipes I’ve never touched)! And thankfully, I have Joshua who always reminds me, “One day at a time.” I love lists and planning and scheduling, but this family has taught me to live without and I lovingly accept.
So, here are my reflections on this first week as a mother…
I start by looking back at what I wrote in my journal in adoration with Joshua on the Tuesday before he was born:
“…Joshua and I have been preparing ourselves more vigilantly this past week – bringing in more daily mass and intentional prayer. It’s been a grace to our marriage. While the thought of the responsibility of parenthood has led to a few moments of fear and doubt and the subsequent disagreements, we come together as a team (with the Lord) bound and determined to hold each other up… We celebrated our last Sunday mass as a couple on Sunday. God spoke to me the entire time, helping me understand more about the magnitude of what is about to take place in our lives. He calls us to greatness, and once again I find the emotions overtake me. What struck me most at mass was the prayer, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” Isn’t that so true for us as parents getting ready to receive Him in a day or two? He has said the word; He has healed. He promised to be with us until the end of the age. Our inadequacies are irrelevant in the shadow of the grace he is pouring out on us. One day at a time. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Thanks, Jesus, for it all. We love you and go forward with you.”
The prayer from mass comes back to me many times every day. What an honor it is to welcome Tressan into our lives. I never would have guessed how much I would love having a little boy. I honestly treasure the gift it is to hold him, and I will never be able to give him all the kisses he deserves. No, we are not worthy of this gift, but still God gives and trusts and blesses us. It says a lot to me about God’s love.
So, here are my reflections on this first week as a mother…
I start by looking back at what I wrote in my journal in adoration with Joshua on the Tuesday before he was born:
“…Joshua and I have been preparing ourselves more vigilantly this past week – bringing in more daily mass and intentional prayer. It’s been a grace to our marriage. While the thought of the responsibility of parenthood has led to a few moments of fear and doubt and the subsequent disagreements, we come together as a team (with the Lord) bound and determined to hold each other up… We celebrated our last Sunday mass as a couple on Sunday. God spoke to me the entire time, helping me understand more about the magnitude of what is about to take place in our lives. He calls us to greatness, and once again I find the emotions overtake me. What struck me most at mass was the prayer, “Lord, I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the word and I shall be healed.” Isn’t that so true for us as parents getting ready to receive Him in a day or two? He has said the word; He has healed. He promised to be with us until the end of the age. Our inadequacies are irrelevant in the shadow of the grace he is pouring out on us. One day at a time. Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Thanks, Jesus, for it all. We love you and go forward with you.”
The prayer from mass comes back to me many times every day. What an honor it is to welcome Tressan into our lives. I never would have guessed how much I would love having a little boy. I honestly treasure the gift it is to hold him, and I will never be able to give him all the kisses he deserves. No, we are not worthy of this gift, but still God gives and trusts and blesses us. It says a lot to me about God’s love.
The first four days were beautiful and so hard at the same time. I did not expect how painful it would be to move; sitting up in bed alone proved to be a great physical feat. Tressan would cry at night and I couldn’t get up, and I even dreaded showering. Between the c-section and feeding Tressan, my body was so sore. This was the first time since our wedding day that the phrase, “This is my body given up for you,” took on a deeper meaning.
I don’t know how people do it alone. Joshua was there, constantly serving and encouraging. He was more patient with me than I was with myself. He takes such good care of us. I still lay claim that I am the luckiest.
What has Tressan been up to? On August 3rd, we celebrated dad’s 29th birthday with some family and friends. Tressan was an early birthday gift! I found out that I was pregnant with him on my birthday, and he arrived just in time for dad’s birthday. God’s timing is beautiful. Tressan also went to the “beauty shop” and dad heroically gave him a manicure. I wanted nothing to do with cutting those tiny nails, but Joshua was great and stepped up to the task. Mom might have to give him his first hair cut soon as he is borderline rockin a mullet. He also went to mass for his first time post-utero and slept the entire time. He sleeps at random anywhere from 30 minutes to a whopping 5 hours (a record from last night). My favorite is his little sleep smiles. They usually come after he eats in the middle of the night and sometimes are simple smirks and at other times are wide-mouthed grins. I adore them and sometimes I hold him a little longer after he eats to see if I can catch one. I told Diana Thompson yesterday that I think God created those spontaneous smiles as a hint of grace for sleep-deprived parents in the middle of the night as a reminder of how special these little souls are. He makes us smile and laugh. He has peed on Mom, Dad, and Grandma Hahn, and he successfully shot poop across the room and my arm during a diaper change fail. Little boys are an adventure!
I feel very blessed that so many friends have stopped by to visit including the UA crowd, neighbors, church friends, and family. Joshua took me out on a date this past Friday while Grandma Hahn babysat. It was refreshing to get dressed up and out of the house; and I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed seeing strangers (I hope that’s not too creepy!). We filled ourselves on Mexican cuisine (of course), shared conversation about each other and our new family, and closed our evening (in our Brioni fashion) with ice cream!
The past week(ish) has been AMAZING. I didn’t know my life could be better. I did know instantly beyond a doubt that I wouldn’t want to be anyone other than Joshua’s wife and Tressan’s mother.
Lord, make us a holy. St. Tressan, pray for us.
I don’t know how people do it alone. Joshua was there, constantly serving and encouraging. He was more patient with me than I was with myself. He takes such good care of us. I still lay claim that I am the luckiest.
What has Tressan been up to? On August 3rd, we celebrated dad’s 29th birthday with some family and friends. Tressan was an early birthday gift! I found out that I was pregnant with him on my birthday, and he arrived just in time for dad’s birthday. God’s timing is beautiful. Tressan also went to the “beauty shop” and dad heroically gave him a manicure. I wanted nothing to do with cutting those tiny nails, but Joshua was great and stepped up to the task. Mom might have to give him his first hair cut soon as he is borderline rockin a mullet. He also went to mass for his first time post-utero and slept the entire time. He sleeps at random anywhere from 30 minutes to a whopping 5 hours (a record from last night). My favorite is his little sleep smiles. They usually come after he eats in the middle of the night and sometimes are simple smirks and at other times are wide-mouthed grins. I adore them and sometimes I hold him a little longer after he eats to see if I can catch one. I told Diana Thompson yesterday that I think God created those spontaneous smiles as a hint of grace for sleep-deprived parents in the middle of the night as a reminder of how special these little souls are. He makes us smile and laugh. He has peed on Mom, Dad, and Grandma Hahn, and he successfully shot poop across the room and my arm during a diaper change fail. Little boys are an adventure!
I feel very blessed that so many friends have stopped by to visit including the UA crowd, neighbors, church friends, and family. Joshua took me out on a date this past Friday while Grandma Hahn babysat. It was refreshing to get dressed up and out of the house; and I couldn’t believe how much I enjoyed seeing strangers (I hope that’s not too creepy!). We filled ourselves on Mexican cuisine (of course), shared conversation about each other and our new family, and closed our evening (in our Brioni fashion) with ice cream!
The past week(ish) has been AMAZING. I didn’t know my life could be better. I did know instantly beyond a doubt that I wouldn’t want to be anyone other than Joshua’s wife and Tressan’s mother.
Lord, make us a holy. St. Tressan, pray for us.
August 10, 2011 at 6:01 AM
Congratulations and welcome to motherhood- as you can tell so far, it is an awesome, crazy, beautiful adventure :) He is a cutie, have a beautiful time soaking in his babyness, it really does go by too fast!
Warmly,
Erin Marney from BC
August 12, 2011 at 6:09 PM
Mandy you are such a beautiful wife and now mom. Your love for Jesus, Josh and Tressan is amazing. I really enjoyed your thoughts and refections on your first week of motherhood. God blesses those who bless others and you are a blessing to many! Enjoy the many days of motherhood that await you in the future.