I might take up becoming ambidextrous as I try to type this with my left hand. On Sunday, August 14, Grandma Hahn headed back to St. Louis after a two-week stay in the Brioni house. The process of saying goodbye to her grandson took nearly an hour and a good amount of tears. I think everyone was wondering Joshua and I would do on our own. We weren’t ready to say goodbye, but we knew we were ready to be a family. The following Monday was my first day alone with Tressan. That morning I got a phone call from my mom to see how we were doing, then a phone call came from Grandma Briones to see how we were doing, then another phone call came from my mom to see how we were doing. I kind of think Grandma Hahn wanted me to put baby T on the phone as she misses him greatly… and while we think he’s pretty advanced, he’s not taking phone calls at this point.
So many people have asked if I was scared or nervous to be on my own or to take him out. Honestly, the only thing that scares me is trying to back Josh’s Tahoe out of the driveway (I have been known to brush our neighbor’s fence a time or two, and that was in the Honda). It was fun to feel like a mom that day (sometimes I still think I’m babysitting and waiting for the parents to come home).
We continue to welcome visitors. Tressan visited Ursuline this past week, and I swear he will have one of the best “Two Truths and a Lie” in attesting to attending an all-girls school for seven months. We also enjoyed an evening with our married couple’s prayer group, meeting our new pastor. We stole a picture of all the babies together. Our group will add two more to that couch by October!
Another adventure was a roadtrip to Celina to see Grandma Briones and the rest of the family for her birthday. Tressan, in character, slept the whole time.
I’m enjoying the time with Tressan more and more. He will be one month at the end of this week, and we love how wide-eyed he is getting. He loves gazing at faces and ceiling fans (not to be offended that he typically opts for the fan over the face). His days are really exciting – last week I added bath time, so Tressan has quite an adventurous life between his eating and sleeping and diapering.
Speaking of the diapering, Tressan still is winning. He hosed me twice in a four-hour period last week when sleep loss had my defenses down. I guess he’s just marking his territory. In addition to our introducing of bath time, this week the rubber met the road. Dallas has been pretty brutal in its attempt to beat 100’ temp records, but the mornings are tolerable (although only a Texan would think so) so it was time to put the BOB jogging stroller to the test. I’ve been itching to run and get outside, so taking him for a walk is the next best thing. It feels so freeing to be back in motion, and I love watching his curious face as he tries to figure out where he is and what is happening. I also love that he usually naps for a good 30 minutes after a walk! Dad worked from home Wednesday giving mom a chance to go to the gym, and he also made time for me to go two additional days (even though he would have liked to go himself)… I happily welcomed the gift of that time and his selflessness did not go unnoticed. It seems we do a lot of trading off lately with getting to the gym, with relaxing in the pool, with making dinner… there’s some adjustment in that we can’t do all these things together but this is all part of the building of the team. I still am humbled at how much Joshua does for us. Obviously, “just the two of us” (in regards to Tressan and I) is the farthest from the truth.
Tressan’s latest accomplishment is an entertaining production involving alternating pterodactyl noises and horse sounds that sometimes lasts as long as 40 minutes. Hence, we think our baby is advanced for his age! I couldn’t be more proud of his choice of animals. His favorite time to do this is between 12 and 6am. I couldn’t be more perplexed by timing. There was a middle-of-the-night occurrence that lasted so long, I had to take the little dinosaur out of the room so dad could go back to sleep. We still feel VERY BLESSED at having such a good sleeper, a blessing we counted twice after he decided to drop sleep (almost altogether) on Thursday night. Mom and Dad had not opted for that plan. Now I understand how the Everetts felt pushing their newborn around the neighborhood in the stroller from 3-6 am, and I recall what the Bradys said of their new baby, “Pray for us because this baby is rocking our world.” Instead of 2-5 hour stretches of sleeping, T decided to do 3-5 hour stretches of waking. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh in amusement or cry in exhaustion when he had finally fallen asleep after 3 hours: I put him down so carefully (even keeping my face next to his for 15 minutes while I was awkwardly and uncomfortably bent over his Pack N Play in hopes that it would coerce him to stay asleep – it’s amazing what you will and for how long you will do it in desperate hope for sleep), climbed back into bed with such relief, five minutes later he has the largest audible poop and wakes himself again… so it was back to the beginning. I told Joshua that I am amazed by the sense of accomplishment felt when we manage to lay the baby down and he stays asleep. We often find ourselves holding our breath for those first five minutes, and it has definitely become part of our prayers. I was so tired earlier this week I had a dream that I was feeding Tressan and when I woke up I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t in my arms and what I did with him. I started searching the bed thinking he must just be lost in the covers and starting to get panicked. Turns out he was in his Pack N Play the whole time; I just couldn’t distinguish between the dreams and reality. I’m starting to think alertness is a secret gift of the Holy Spirit they forgot to include with the other seven. I’d surely trade wisdom for alertness these days. Sometimes it’s a pure mystery how Joshua and I are awake at all, especially when I think about how he still manages to go to adoration on Tuesdays at 6am and pray for our family.
The challenges are nothing compared to the blessing it is to have him in our lives. In the past week and a half, we said goodbye to a family friend after a long fight with cancer and then, days later, to a 2011 Ursuline graduate after her battle with leukemia ended. While in labor with Tressan a few weeks earlier, Joshua suggested I offer up the pain for someone – both were at the forefront of my prayers. Now, I see their families and I imagine the loss of my husband or child, and it’s hard to fathom healing from the emptiness you would feel. I think it would be hard just to breathe. While I prayed at Steave’s memorial and Micaela’s funeral and thought of Joshua and our little Tressan, I remembered something our friend Whitney told us when we visited her last year. We were talking about her little girl and the fears/worries/concerns that come with parenting. Whitney said there was a day when she let go and had to give her daughter to God. She said all the worrying will drive you crazy until you realize that your child is God’s – you’ve got to give him or her back to him. Then the fear lessens, because God has him no matter what happens. We thank God for the time he has given us. I give it all back to him.
So many people have asked if I was scared or nervous to be on my own or to take him out. Honestly, the only thing that scares me is trying to back Josh’s Tahoe out of the driveway (I have been known to brush our neighbor’s fence a time or two, and that was in the Honda). It was fun to feel like a mom that day (sometimes I still think I’m babysitting and waiting for the parents to come home).
We continue to welcome visitors. Tressan visited Ursuline this past week, and I swear he will have one of the best “Two Truths and a Lie” in attesting to attending an all-girls school for seven months. We also enjoyed an evening with our married couple’s prayer group, meeting our new pastor. We stole a picture of all the babies together. Our group will add two more to that couch by October!
Another adventure was a roadtrip to Celina to see Grandma Briones and the rest of the family for her birthday. Tressan, in character, slept the whole time.
I’m enjoying the time with Tressan more and more. He will be one month at the end of this week, and we love how wide-eyed he is getting. He loves gazing at faces and ceiling fans (not to be offended that he typically opts for the fan over the face). His days are really exciting – last week I added bath time, so Tressan has quite an adventurous life between his eating and sleeping and diapering.
Speaking of the diapering, Tressan still is winning. He hosed me twice in a four-hour period last week when sleep loss had my defenses down. I guess he’s just marking his territory. In addition to our introducing of bath time, this week the rubber met the road. Dallas has been pretty brutal in its attempt to beat 100’ temp records, but the mornings are tolerable (although only a Texan would think so) so it was time to put the BOB jogging stroller to the test. I’ve been itching to run and get outside, so taking him for a walk is the next best thing. It feels so freeing to be back in motion, and I love watching his curious face as he tries to figure out where he is and what is happening. I also love that he usually naps for a good 30 minutes after a walk! Dad worked from home Wednesday giving mom a chance to go to the gym, and he also made time for me to go two additional days (even though he would have liked to go himself)… I happily welcomed the gift of that time and his selflessness did not go unnoticed. It seems we do a lot of trading off lately with getting to the gym, with relaxing in the pool, with making dinner… there’s some adjustment in that we can’t do all these things together but this is all part of the building of the team. I still am humbled at how much Joshua does for us. Obviously, “just the two of us” (in regards to Tressan and I) is the farthest from the truth.
Tressan’s latest accomplishment is an entertaining production involving alternating pterodactyl noises and horse sounds that sometimes lasts as long as 40 minutes. Hence, we think our baby is advanced for his age! I couldn’t be more proud of his choice of animals. His favorite time to do this is between 12 and 6am. I couldn’t be more perplexed by timing. There was a middle-of-the-night occurrence that lasted so long, I had to take the little dinosaur out of the room so dad could go back to sleep. We still feel VERY BLESSED at having such a good sleeper, a blessing we counted twice after he decided to drop sleep (almost altogether) on Thursday night. Mom and Dad had not opted for that plan. Now I understand how the Everetts felt pushing their newborn around the neighborhood in the stroller from 3-6 am, and I recall what the Bradys said of their new baby, “Pray for us because this baby is rocking our world.” Instead of 2-5 hour stretches of sleeping, T decided to do 3-5 hour stretches of waking. I couldn’t decide whether to laugh in amusement or cry in exhaustion when he had finally fallen asleep after 3 hours: I put him down so carefully (even keeping my face next to his for 15 minutes while I was awkwardly and uncomfortably bent over his Pack N Play in hopes that it would coerce him to stay asleep – it’s amazing what you will and for how long you will do it in desperate hope for sleep), climbed back into bed with such relief, five minutes later he has the largest audible poop and wakes himself again… so it was back to the beginning. I told Joshua that I am amazed by the sense of accomplishment felt when we manage to lay the baby down and he stays asleep. We often find ourselves holding our breath for those first five minutes, and it has definitely become part of our prayers. I was so tired earlier this week I had a dream that I was feeding Tressan and when I woke up I couldn’t figure out why he wasn’t in my arms and what I did with him. I started searching the bed thinking he must just be lost in the covers and starting to get panicked. Turns out he was in his Pack N Play the whole time; I just couldn’t distinguish between the dreams and reality. I’m starting to think alertness is a secret gift of the Holy Spirit they forgot to include with the other seven. I’d surely trade wisdom for alertness these days. Sometimes it’s a pure mystery how Joshua and I are awake at all, especially when I think about how he still manages to go to adoration on Tuesdays at 6am and pray for our family.
The challenges are nothing compared to the blessing it is to have him in our lives. In the past week and a half, we said goodbye to a family friend after a long fight with cancer and then, days later, to a 2011 Ursuline graduate after her battle with leukemia ended. While in labor with Tressan a few weeks earlier, Joshua suggested I offer up the pain for someone – both were at the forefront of my prayers. Now, I see their families and I imagine the loss of my husband or child, and it’s hard to fathom healing from the emptiness you would feel. I think it would be hard just to breathe. While I prayed at Steave’s memorial and Micaela’s funeral and thought of Joshua and our little Tressan, I remembered something our friend Whitney told us when we visited her last year. We were talking about her little girl and the fears/worries/concerns that come with parenting. Whitney said there was a day when she let go and had to give her daughter to God. She said all the worrying will drive you crazy until you realize that your child is God’s – you’ve got to give him or her back to him. Then the fear lessens, because God has him no matter what happens. We thank God for the time he has given us. I give it all back to him.
